That Soul, Though All Hell Should Endeavor To Shake, I'll Never, No Never, No Never Forsake!

Mark saw Dr. Cook, the opthomologist/facial reconstruction surgeon. The last time this doc saw Mark he was still asleep in the ICU. He was completely blown away when he walked into the room and there was Mark, sitting in the exam chair, all decked out in a suit & tie, chatting away with his wife. He shook both our hands and said, "Mark, you are a miracle man." After examining him, Dr. Cook said it's not very likely that any of his vision in his left eye will return. If Mark could see even the slightest bit of light, the doc said we could hope. But where it's completely black it just doesn't bode well for anything to return. He said every nerve in the human body has the ability to regenerate...except the optic nerve. He used a very bright light and magnifying glass to see the nerves inside Mark's eyes. He said his right optic nerve was pretty and pink. The left optic nerve was very pale. There was blood flow to both, but the left didn't look healthy and vibrant. I literally watched Mark's face fall as he accepted that he will forever be blind in one eye. And once again my heart broke into a million pieces. The doc lectured us on how important it is to take care of his good eye. He instructed Mark to use safety goggles everytime he was in a situation that could potentially cause eye injury. He also talked about how Mark was like a cat that had 9 lives and that he used every one of them coming back from this brain injury. There are no more chances to be taken. No more motorcycles or 4-wheelers, no more climbing on ladders, no more ANYTHING that could cause him to hit his head. There are NO MORE LIVES left. He would not return to us if he gets even the slightest head injury. Mark listened very carefully as I sat in the corner and cried. Then reality settled in hard with Mark. He said, "I don't get to ride motorcycles with my girls ever again." I said, "I don't care. They have their Dad to do everything else with them. That's all that matters." He said, "That's true." I know this is so very hard for him. He waited a long time to get his dirt bike and loved every second that he could spend on it. Just one more thing that has been stolen from us.

On a positive note the doc did say that he should be able to drive again. He will have to get clearance from the rehab docs and start from the very beginning: church parking lot to practice. I'm sure this will be sometime in the distant future. But I know it made Mark happy to hear that he may regain some of his independence.

This doc is the one that was in the room when Mark gave us his first thumbs-up. Dr. Cook talked about how exciting that was for him as a doctor. He talked about how doctors can only do so much and then they have to sit back and wait and see what is going to happen. He was thrilled that he was able to witness that small little miracle. He said he had a patient come in the other day that said that God doesn't exist and miracles don't happen. Dr. Cook said, "Oh, but He does exist and miracles happen everyday. I'm priveledged to witness many of them." He said he wished he could introduce that guy to Mark.


After the doctor appointment we went to the Provo Temple with Alan and Kim. My heart was full as I watched my sweet husband participate in sacred ordinances. I cried as I sat next to him in the Celestial room, relishing in the mere fact that he was able to be there with me. There was a time I didn't know if he would live, let alone be able to go to the most sacred of places here on the earth with me. I relived, but for a small moment, those first days in the ICU. The fear, the pain, the doubt....and here he was. By my side, holding my hand, wiping at my tears. I thought of the words to my favorite hymn - How Firm A Foundation.

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health,
In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials, thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake!