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Thank you so much for love, concern and prayers on their behalf.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Hearings Scheduled

Previously I had mentioned that there would be a hearing on November 28 to determine if Chuck would get a new trial.  That hearing has been moved to December 3.

There's also a parole board hearing scheduled for November 29 in Beaver.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Emotional Integrity

I'm not sure if I've explained this before, so if I have, forgive me.

The human brain has two emotion control centers, one in each hemisphere.  They work together in helping to regulate your emotional integrity.    In Mark's brain, he only has one that is operational due to the damage and removal of brain tissue.  In other words, his emotional integrity is severely hampered.  When presented with a stressful situation, he is almost incapable of controlling his emotions.  For Mark, this means his heart starts racing, his breathing becomes shallow and rapid, and he ends up vomiting.  Lately it seems to come on very quickly.  He can feel it start, he panics thinking he's going to have a seizure, vomits, and then starts crying uncontrollably.  Once he can finally get the crying under control, he then can't talk about it because he'll start crying again.  These "episodes" have been more frequent as of late.  It's extremely frustrating for him as he feels completely out of control.  At first, he didn't understand what was going on.  He thought these feelings were a precursor to having a seizure.  But as he further explained his symptoms to me, I talked to his doctor and he called the episodes a panic attack brought on by some stressful event.  Sometimes the event might only be a thought, or conversation with someone, or a worry about something.

As if the symptom described above aren't enough, the only thing that can calm him down and help him get things under control is a slow release sedative like Valium.  And that makes him very sleepy.  Almost like being drunk.  His speech is slurred and he stumbles around.  You would think he would just lay down and go to sleep, but he doesn't.  And that makes it not just HIS problem, but MY problem.  I chuckle as I type that because when has ANY of this only been HIS problem?  Anyway, it can really drain us of at least a couple of days.  It's really hard.  And he doesn't realize how hard it is for me.  He doesn't understand how his problems are also my problems.  He has a hard time thinking outside of himself.  And that can be extremely frustrating and taxing for me.

When he takes that medication he doesn't remember anything.  He doesn't know that it's like taking care of a drunk.  He doesn't know that he has missed HOURS of his day.  One night he got up at 8:45 and Madison and I were working on homework at the table and he wanted to know why she was late for school.  We had to explain to him that it was dark outside, which meant it was night, and he had only been asleep for the day.  Yesterday he didn't realize that it was Saturday and couldn't remember if he had been to the movie on Friday or Saturday.

The main reason I've decided to start blogging again is because so many people have said things to me like, "He's recovered so well and I can't even tell that anything happened!"  Well, that's not entirely true.  YES, he has recovered well.  But he still suffers a lot of deficits.  And no one is going to know that except me because I'm the one that lives with him.  No one else knows about these episodes, the days that go by that he sleeps, the nights that go by that he DOESN'T sleep.  He is not back to his old self.  He never will be.   This is the new Mark with all of his nuances, ticks and issues.  And we're still trying to get used to him.

Friday, November 2, 2012

I Hate TBI

I hate TBI.  I hate what it's done to my family.  I hate that we have to deal with it EVERYDAY.  I hate what it has stolen from Mark.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

That being said, I am profoundly grateful for the extent of Mark's recovery.  Most people that see him now can't believe how well he's doing.  People that don't know him don't actually know that he has a brain injury until he tells them.  Those are great blessings.

But I am married to him.  No one knows how difficult some days really are.  For him and for me.  My patience is tried often and his love for me only grows stronger.  There are more good days than bad days, but when the bad days hit....they're bad.  That's when I have my breakdown and realize that I'm not "over" all of this.  I've still not fully "accepted" our new life.  I cry and want my old life back.  I don't like our new "normal".  I guess I'm still in mourning.  I don't know when I'm going to be able to talk about it without crying.  Just yesterday Mark was in my office and we were talking about some of his visitors in the hospital and I started crying.  We don't talk about it everyday, or even every week.  But if the subject comes up, the emotions start, the feelings churn and I'm back by his hospital bed on those dark nights.  It can almost be unbearable at times.

So while I love my husband more than life and am grateful for his preserved life and recovery...TBI sucks.  This whole experience sucks.

Here is an interesting article.  If they had interviewed me, I would have said the same thing.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Welcome Back

I apologize I have fallen out of the blog world for a while.  There has been a lot going on since the sentencing.  I will try and fill you in as I go along now that I'm back.  One thing you might want to note is that on November 28 there will be a hearing to determine if Chuck will get a new trial.  His mother is the driving force behind this as she thinks he didn't get a fair trial.  She says that I lied, his attorneys were not good, and she even quotes my feelings on this blog.  The same judge will preside at this hearing and make the decision that day.  She is currently going over everything, including written arguments from the new defense attorney, the trial records, and she will hear oral arguments at the hearing.  But I won't wait that long to fill you in on our lives since the trial.  Check back often.  I'm going to visit regularly.

Thursday, May 10, 2012


We were both pretty nervous about what we wanted to say to the judge, so we met with the prosecutor the morning of sentencing.  I was concerned about what Mark had prepared.  Because of his brain injury, he struggles with social cues and seeing outside of himself.  He was desperate for the judge to understand that HE didn't borrow the trailer from Chuck and that the damage was minimal.  He wanted her to understand that he almost lost his life over a $100 repair.  Both the prosecutor and I tried to explain to him that all of that was covered in the trial and didn't need to be addressed at the sentencing.  He couldn't remember most of what was said at the trial, so he and I went over it SEVERAL times before he prepared his remarks.  But once he got up to speak, he didn't know what to say.  He started talking about the trailer and the judge stopped him and told him that all of that was taken care of in the trial.  He said, "Ok, I'm sorry.  I don't really know what I'm supposed to say."  She said he could say what he feels and he said, "I want him to go to prison."  Then he sat down.  I had anticipated that it was going to happen like that, so I prepared my remarks as the voice for my family.  The voice for Mark.

Just before our hearing started, the prosecutor was doing a sentencing hearing for a man who has sexually molested his 13-year-old daughter.  She was seated on a pew two rows in front of us.  Before the judge gave her sentencing, she spoke directly to this young woman.  She talked to her about choices, and how none of this was her fault.  This was the result of the choices her father made.  Nothing she did could save him from going to prison because that is the consequence of HIS choices.  When I approached the podium to speak, all I could think about was what the judge had said to that girl.  And how it was EXACTLY what I had prepared to read in my two-page statement.  But I couldn't read it.

I told the judge that this case was not about a trailer.  It was about a choice made by Chuck to allow his anger to control his actions.  Chuck had several OTHER choices he could have made, but he CHOSE to assault his brother.  I told her that just one week before the sentencing when Mark had gone to his parents house to talk to his Dad, that Chuck wasn't there and had seen Mark in the neighborhood and came back to the house and was yelling at Mark and flipping him off.  Chuck called the police and so Mark had to stay there until they arrived so he could explain himself.  The officer that spoke to him said that he was familiar with the case and that it would be best if Mark would call before he came down to his parents' home as it was now Chuck's residence, as well.  I told her that as Chuck stood there and apologized for "his part" in all of this, that his actions speak differently.  Someone that is truly penitent doesn't flip off and yell at the person they've wronged.  I told her how our life is now.  How Mark's life is now.  I quoted from the scriptures where it says that mercy cannot rob justice, because God would cease to be God.  My closing words were, "Chuck was out of jail just two hours after Mark got out of surgery.  He has served 14 hours.  Only fourteen hours.  My husband has a LIFE sentence.  Please do not let mercy rob justice and send Chuck to prison."

The judge said that this was one of the most difficult trials she's had to oversee.  She said that after reading all of the letters from various people in the family and now having presided over this trial that this family was broken long before this assault.  She then told Chuck that this case IS about choices.  And he made, by his own admission, a choice to hit his brother because he was "tired of it."  She then sentenced him to 1-15 years in prison.

We were relieved.  Not happy, not ecstatic, not joyous.  Relieved.  The judge does the sentencing, but it's the parole board that decides how long he actually serves.  The earliest he would be able to leave prison is May 11, 2013.  There will be an administrative hearing in November that will determine when his first parole hearing will be.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Pray for Us

We are preparing as best we can for tomorrow's sentencing hearing.  Just when I think I'm ready, the other side says something, writes something, or does something, that throws me off kilter.  I have written, edited, rewritten, deleted, edited some more, and I think my "speech" is finally ready.  Actually, I don't want to call it a speech.  Because it's not.  It's my thoughts, feelings, emotions, pain and sorrow that I'm sharing with the court.  I don't know that I'm adequately prepared or that I've even included everything I really want to say, but it will be done and over for me.  I will have "had my day in court" and it will be over.  From here, I don't care one whit what they do.  They are forever out of our lives and the peace and healing can begin.  If you are unable to make it, I would ask for your prayers.  Especially for Mark, as he has to let his family go.  Thank you again for all of your love and support.  I'll post something tomorrow so you aren't left in the dark.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The End is Near!

One week from today it will officially all be over. Well...the legal end of it anyway. For us it will really NEVER be completely over, as we live with the devastating aftermath everyday. But it will be the beginning of the healing process. I thought the trial would help us to start, and maybe to a certain degree it did. But I recognize now that this is going to take a while. Forgiveness does not come so easily for me as it does Mark. Perhaps that's because it's his family that did this to him, and so he's more inclined to forgive. He also doesn't remember any of it, so he doesn't carry with him all of the darkness, pain, sorrow and heartache. I can also see how they continue to injure him with their words and actions. He is not fully aware of a lot of this because of his brain injury. But it speaks loudly and clearly to me. I look forward to posting next week. It truly will be a new beginning for the Davis Family. Please join us.....

Monday, April 23, 2012

Being Me

"Today I don't want to be me. I don't want to be the wife of a man that has a brain injury. I don't want to be the wife that endured almost losing her husband. I don't want to be the wife that has to be strong every minute of every day. I don't want to be the one in church that has to explain who we are and where we're from. I don't want to be the one that sees the pity and shock in everyone's faces as you tell them what you've been through in the last year. I...just...don'" That was my status update on Facebook yesterday. I was looking forward to some anonymity in our new ward. I wanted to be a normal family with normal dynamics, a normal background and normal issues. NORMAL...NORMAL...NORMAL!!! After a long afternoon of crying and feeling sorry for myself, I realized that we're not normal. We're special. And with that comes much ugliness, pain, sorrow and many tears. But a wonderful friend reminded me, so eloquently, exactly what that means. She said: On days like this, remind yourself that when the plans were designed and you stood by Mark as your brother, and your girls as your sisters, it didn't matter to you what challenges you would go through, as long, as you could do it along side Mark, and most importantly, you wanted to do it, because you wouldn't let any of your girls take on such a challenge. A strong woman like you wanted to do it all. You know, the trust that Heavenly Father has in me is more important to me than even his love, it's like a greater form of love. In my family only one other person, Bridgette, could have traveled my path and still survive. I am sure we fought for it, but I won, and I am glad I did, because now I get to see her travel the beautiful road she took. I am sure there is one for you. You will begin to see it soon enough. Challenges will never end, not in this world anyway. But you can still see the beauty of life. And in the mean time, swear all you want, it always makes me feel better. And remember, for every suffering we go through, we will be compensated to the degree of our suffering, not in the world to come, but in this one. And in the world to come, above and beyond that. Do not be afraid, only believe, I love you! And so today, since the sun came up again and I have to get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other and keep going, I'm going to hold my dear friend to her words. I'm going to try and look forward with hope for the compensation to come. I don't have a clue what it will be, but it's got to be bigger and better than what I've got.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Sentencing was scheduled for April 16th, but has been continued to May 10th. At first I was upset about this. Feels like it has already been drawn out long enough. But then I found out why and I'm hoping it will be for the best interest of everyone involved.

The judge has been diagnosed with cancer and is having surgery this week. She is taking a month off to recover. When a judge is going to be out of commission, their cases are doled out to the other judges for resolution. She specifically requested that our case be continued so that she can take care of the sentencing. She didn't want a "stranger" trying to piece things together and make a blind decision. I don't know if that is a good thing or not, but it's the way it is.

We have been very busy since the trial. We've started moving on with our lives through counseling. It's very helpful. Having the stress of the trial behind us is a great blessing. We are gearing up for the sentencing as we will be allowed to speak. We will finally have the opportunity to address those who have hurt us so permanently. I'm sure it will be very cleansing and healing. We have also started moving on with out lives by MOVING OUT!!! We have found a home to rent in Orem. We are very anxious about it. We almost feel as if we're 20 years old again and starting out on our own for the first time. Anxious and excited. This, too, will be cleansing and healing. Onward and upward! Until then....

Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Verdict Is In....

I've struggled the last few days trying to decide how to write this. Last week was truly one of the most grueling weeks of our lives. It's just a step down from Mark's 30 day visit in the hospital. At least this time I had him alive and well, and by my side.

I know you're all curious, so I'm just going to give you the details. There are 6 critical people in this story. Mark, Chuck, Mike, Ana, Tish and the eye witness. Chuck is the one on trial, his wife is Ana. Mike is another of Mark's brothers and his wife is Tish. The four of them were at Chuck's house when the assault took place.

We met with the prosecutor right after jury selection and just before the trial started, and the judge evoked the exclusionary rule, which means anyone that is going to testify (except the defendant and the victim) cannot be in the courtroom until they have testified and have been excused by both sides. So, I got the difficult blow that I couldn't be by Mark's side until the end of the second day (I was the last to testify for the prosecution). The prosecutor, who I believe is one of the BEST at his job, said he fought for me as I wasn't testifying to any facts since I wasn't at the scene. But the judge said no, so I had to watch my Mark walk into the courtroom alone. I felt as if I was sending him to the wolves. Fortunately, much of my family was there so he really wasn't alone. And neither was I. Since I had asked some of our friends to be character witnesses in case the prosecution had to go down that road, they too were excluded from the proceedings. Kim and I parked ourselves on a bench in the hallway and tried to entertain ourselves so we wouldn't look at the clock every 30 seconds. We were only partly successful. It was difficult being left in the dark.

Mark testified first on Monday afternoon. He gave his testimony about Chuck's trailer that had been brought to Mark's job by another brother. The trailer was damaged by another contractor and Mark had offered to repair the trailer for Chuck. In fact, Mark even offered to replace the trailer in order to appease Chuck. This happened in early Fall. After getting estimates and going back and forth with Chuck, they finally decided that Mark could just repair the damaged ramp and they would call it good. As Mark doesn't remember the events of that day, we believe that he went over to Chuck's house to pick up this ramp in order to get it repaired. The only "facts" we have to go on from there are the testimonies from Mark's brothers, Chuck and Mike, and their wives. They gave verbal and written testimonies to the police officers on scene. They said that Mark got out of his truck with a stick in his hand and that Chuck walked out to Mark in the middle of the road and assaulted him, knocking him out. They said that someone drove by, yelled out their window that they were calling the cops, and then the brothers drug Mark into the house. The prosecutor asked Mark how this has affected his life and his family. Mark was overcome with emotion and when he could finally speak he only said, "My heart is broken because of the pain that this has caused my wife and my children. It has been the hardest on them. It is difficult to watch my family go through such devastating circumstances."

After Mark testified, Dr. Gaufin (the surgeon that saved his life) testified. He went over the CT scans from the night of the injury and in January. He explained how he removed shattered bone fragments, brain tissue and cerebral fluid. I can't wait to get the transcripts of the trial so that I can hear his full testimony. I do know that he told the court that his surgical skills are not what saved his life. He testified that the Lord is the one that deserves the credit. By no uncertain terms, Mark should be dead. He has no explanation for Mark's survival, except that it was not his doing. Such a humble man.

As Mark was a mess after the prosecutor finished with him, the defense asked to wait to cross examine him after Dr. Gaufin testified. That was considerate of them. I do believe that it also worked against them. By this time of day, Mark was exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Exhaustion makes his brain injury very obvious, where sometimes it's not so obvious. Mark had a difficult time understanding the questioning and I think the jury was made well aware of his deficiencies. This is when the first day ended. We were both spent. Actually, everyone involved in the case was spent.

Tuesday morning began with the testimony of the eye witness that drove by and called the police. In his testimony to the police officers at the scene, he said that he saw a man on the ground being punched in the head by another man, with a second man standing over them with a stick in his hand. When he yelled out that he was going to call the police, the man with the stick threw the stick into the weeds by Mark's truck. They then dragged the unconscious man into the home. He waited for police to arrive, gave his testimony to them and left. This is the exact same testimony he gave on the stand.

When he walked out of the courtroom, Mark followed him out. Mark asked him to stop for a second and introduced himself as the man on the ground that was being hit. Mark shook his hand and thanked him for calling the police as he probably saved his life by getting him to the hospital quickly. I was emotional and gave him a hug. This young college student has no idea how he was an instrument in the Lord's hands. Had he not been willing to involve himself in this crime, my husband probably wouldn't be alive. We will forever be grateful for him.

Now it was my turn. I talked about my conversations that day with Mark, how I found out about his injuries, his stay in the hospital, his deficiencies, and our life now. I was an emotional wreck. My mom said the whole audience was crying, including the judge's clerk. I had to look at pictures of Mark from the emergency room and in the ICU. I had to describe in detail what I saw and heard when I first arrived at the hospital. I had to tell them what Dr. Gaufin said about the severity of Mark's injuries. I felt as if I were experiencing it for the first time. The sounds, the smells, the pain. It was all there. When I was excused, the judge said it was time to break for lunch. I felt as if I were in a time warp. I couldn't believe it was only noon. To me if felt as if I'd been on the stand for four hours. I thought it was time to go home.

After lunch, the defense started their arguments. Ana, Tish and Mike all testified. They claimed that Mark was threatening (over the phone) to kill them with his gun. The four of them went from Mike's home to Chuck's home, where they said Mark came on the property, swinging a cut-off shovel handle and continually threatening to kill them. They claimed that Chuck had his own shovel handle and was pushing Mark back towards his truck, on the other side of the road, all the while telling him that he needed to calm down and leave. They claimed that Mark hit Chuck two or three times in the left side. Mike claimed that Mark hit him in the hand, but no one else collaborated that story. They were all over the place with different versions of what happened. There was no consistency in their "facts". They claimed that the police were jerks, not cooperative, and wouldn't listen to them when they tried to tell them what happened. They claimed they were only given five minutes to write their written statements at the scene. When the prosecutor cross examined them he made each of them hold the shovel handle and show him exactly how Mark was swinging. He made each of them estimate how far away Mark was from the front porch, where they claim this swinging/backing up escapade started. He asked each of them at what point when they were in fear for their lives did they call 911. Each of them said, "I didn't." He asked each of them at what point in the last 14 months did they go back to the police to give them the full details of what happened that night. Each of them said, "I didn't." In each of their written statements, they conveniently left out the entire story of Mark being on the property and pushing him back towards his truck. Ana, in her desperation to tell the police what had happened in order to keep her husband out of jail, wrote only six lines in her written statement. Tish didn't give a written statement because she told everyone at the hospital that she didn't see anything. Then on the stand she claimed that she was never approached by the police department to give a written statement. The detective testified otherwise and that she said she had nothing to say.

During the afternoon break, everyone filed out of the courtroom and Mark noticed that his brother Larry had arrived. Mark walked up to him, shook his hand, thanked him for coming and asked him to make sure he told the truth about the trailer. Told him to make sure he testified that it was Larry that brought the trailer up to the job...not Mark. As everyone was in the hallway, this conversation was overhead by Mike and Tish. They informed the defense attorney that Mark was witness tampering.

There was no court held on Wednesday. On Thursday morning the defense attorney brought up the issue of "witness tampering" to the judge. She was not impressed with what he had to say and said she wanted to keep things simple in regards to the facts of the case. Who brought the trailer to the job wasn't relevant to the case. Chuck was the first to take the stand. His testimony was pretty long, as he was the one on trial. Once again, his claims were skewed from the others. He was asked the same things by the prosecutor and gave the same answer to both questions, "I didn't". As we were preparing to break for lunch, the judge asked it there were going to be any rebuttal witnesses from the state. The prosecutor said he was going to call Mark and the case detective. The defense brought up the witness tampering issue again and said that it went against the credibility of Mark's testimony. The judge said she would decide over lunch whether or not she would allow him to give his rebuttal testimony. She then said that the prosecutor needed to provide Mark with a public defender as witness tampering is a 3rd degree felony. Everyone left for the lunch break except me and Mark. I couldn't eat. I was physically ill. Mark was so confused about what had just happened. I tried to explain to him that what he had said to Larry wasn't okay. He couldn't see how telling Larry to tell the truth was witness tampering. It wasn't that he told him to tell the truth, it's that he said, "Make sure you tell the truth. Make sure you tell them that I didn't borrow the trailer." The act of "telling" Larry what to say is the witness tampering part. The prosecutor returned with a public defender and he met with Mark. Mark explained exactly what happened, what he said, why he said it and that he didn't understand everything. The prosecutor, public defender and defense attorney's all met in the judge's chambers and the judge decided she would allow Mark to give his rebuttal testimony, as long as he didn't talk about Larry or the trailer. Whew! I, and anyone that really knows Mark since his injury, knows that he didn't know what he was doing. We're grateful that the judge was able to understand that as well.

Mark was next and was asked to tell about a birth defect he has. He explained that he was born without the pectoral muscles of his right chest. He testified that it has limited his physical abilities on that side. He writes with his right hand but does anything physical with his left. He then stood and removed his suit jacket, tie and shirt for the jury to see the deficit on his chest. Remember that the prosecutor asked the defense witnesses to show exactly how Mark swung the shovel handle and they ALL demonstrated it from the right. Mark has never swung anything with his right arm. His range of motion and strength are much less on the right side, therefore hindering his abilities. He has a "hump" on his back on the left side where his back muscles have had to overcompensate for the deficiencies. You could have heard a pin drop. The entire room went quiet. I do believe it was the final point to tip the scale in our direction.

Mark's mom came in next. She was only there to confirm that Chuck had come to her house on or around December 8th stating that he didn't have anything else to live for so he was going to the hospital to "finish what he started". She denied that he said those words. She said that he was upset and felt that since Mark was in so much pain that he would "end it for him" and then kill himself.

The case detective was next to testify. He said, again, that he had talked to Tish about giving a written statement and that she told him she didn't see anything and therefore didn't have anything to say. He testified that he spoke to Mark's mom about the day that Chuck came to her house and said, "I've lost everything (custody of 2 of his boys). I have nothing else to lose. I'm going down to the hospital to finish what I started." She denied that he said that, even though that's what she reported to the security guards at the hospital, and what they put in their reports.

Let the circus commence. The attorneys now gave their closing arguments. The prosecution goes first and last. The prosecutor gave a brief explanation of what he was supposed to prove and checked each item off the list as he went down. Then it was time for the defense. I was completely floored at his callousness. At one point he was laughing and saying, "You don't have to be a brain surgeon to see that Mr. Davis has suffered a brain injury." He was flippant, immature and showboated. He got several facts wrong. The most important one being that the eye witness saw Mike throw a stick into the weeds. Some of the people that had only come in for the closing arguments couldn't figure out if he was for the prosecution or the defense. He talked in circles and about things that had nothing to do with the case. I guess when you don't really HAVE a case you have to fill in with theatrics and useless oration. Then the prosecutor got up for his final arguments and mopped the floor with their case. He pointed out EVERY inconsistency, EVERY impossibility, EVERY SINGLE ONE. The case detective leaned over right before he started and said, "Now we get to watch Craig work his magic." HE WAS AWESOME!

The jury was then given their instructions. They were excused to deliberate at 4:30. We spoke to the prosecutor and he told us to go get dinner and find something to do as these things can take a while. We gathered a group together and went to Brick Oven. We tried to keep things light, even though I was looking at my watch every five minutes. We got back to the court house around 7:00. We hung out in one of the conference rooms. The prosecutor called me about 8:45 and said the jury had wanted to listen to the eye witnesses' testimony again, but they're not allowed to do that. They have to look at their notes and rely on their memory. At 9:45 he called again and said that the jury was deadlocked. He said the judge had more instructions she was going to give them to see if they could come to a decision that night. As we all sat together in the conference room, hearts racing and palms sweating, Kim suggested we say a prayer. Mark offered a prayer that the jury would be able to come to a decision, that they would remember the things they'd heard and be able to listen to the Spirit and hear the truth. I'll never forget the feel of that room after we closed the prayer. It was quiet and peaceful. I didn't know what that meant, only that I was okay with whatever happened. At 10:15 he called back and said that they were bringing the jury back into the courtroom to give them the additional instructions, and see if they would be able to come to a decision that night. She excused them back to the deliberation room and said the bailiff would come inform us of their decision. About ten minutes later the bailiff came in and said they wanted 30 more minutes. Wow! That meant they were really close one way or the other. It was now 10:45. We stayed in the courtroom to wait it out. Everyone was visiting and trying to spell the tension that was in the air. Funny thing was, I was completely calm. Mark was a mess. He couldn't sit still and was sweating. He was also VERY tired. I must say that that was the longest 40 minutes of my life. At 11:25 the bailiff came back in and said they'd reached a verdict. We all stood as the judge and jury came back in and took their seats.

When Mark and I sat down we held each others hands. Very tightly. I put my other arm around him and held Kim's hand. Very tightly. It happened just like it does in the movies. The judge asked if the jury had reached a unanimous decision. The chairperson stood and said, "Yes". He then handed the verdict to the bailiff, who then handed it to the judge. She read it and then handed it to her clerk. The judge said that the clerk would read the verdict. Even now my heart is racing as I type this. She said," We the jury, in the Fourth District Court of the State of Utah, in the case of the State of Utah versus Charles Lee Davis, on the count of 2nd Degree Felony, Aggravated Assault, find the defendant, Charles Lee Davis, GUILTY."

Sunday, February 12, 2012


The day has finally arrived. I can't believe it's taken one year, two months and 12 days to get to this point. We are filled with mixed emotions as we prepare for court. We have reconciled ourselves to move on no matter what happens. This does not define our lives and once the trial is actually over, we start anew. We leave all of the baggage, hurt, lies, deception, betrayal, manipulation and pain behind.

Once again, if any of you locals would like to rally behind us and show your support, it would be greatly appreciated. The only time you don't want to be there is Monday morning or Wednesday. You can come and go as you please, so don't feel that you are tied down to a full day of testimony if you can only come for an hour. We love you and appreciate all that you've done, and continue to do, for us.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Happy Anniversary, Baby

Today Mark and I celebrated 19 years together. In some respects I can't believe it's been THAT long, and in others it seems like only yesterday we were walking down the aisle in a little Baptist church in Marlow Community in Texas. We have had our share of ups and downs, good times and bad, joys and sadnesses. But what I can tell you is that I have never been more grateful to have him by my side than I am this year.

Last year was momentous as he had only been out of the hospital for a month. I DO remember that day as if it was yesterday. We were in the middle of prepping to move and had had many of our friends and neighbors over the day before helping us pack. On Saturday, our actual anniversary, Tye, Paige, Mark and I were in our garage stripping the plastic coating off of some scrap wire. Mark lasted about 5 minutes before he had to go lay down. Not the most exciting anniversary celebration. Then the next day Mark suffered his first seizure and we ended up spending the next 3 days in the hospital. I was just as worried about him then as I had been when he was first injured. I wasn't sure what I was going to get back.

Today as we walked hand-in-hand out of church with our three little girls, I was overcome with love and joy for having this man in my life. He is a warm, kind, loving husband and father. There is no one else I would rather spend the eternities with than him. And there is no one else I need by my side more than him as we prepare for the events of next week. I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for sparing his life and giving me back my Mark. I love you, Babe! Happy Anniversary!

Blessing of the Week: eternal families

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Countdown Starts...

We had the pretrial preliminary hearing yesterday. I don't know how many of you have ever been to a hearing in the court system. It's interesting, educational and entertaining. You don't have a true scheduled time. Anyone that is scheduled to appear before the judge that day shows up at 1:30 and you sit and wait until your name is called for your case. We've usually been done within the first hour. Yesterday we sat through almost three hours of degenerate after degenerate. People make some of the stupidest decisions. It's quite sad, really. I want to take my children there before they start Junior High so that they can see how important it is to make good decisions.

Anyway....I digress. The trial is scheduled for February 13, 14, 16 and 17, from 8:30 to 5:00 each day. The morning of the first day will be used for jury selection, so the actual trial won't get started until after lunch. We would appreciate any and all support we could get from our local friends and family. It's difficult to be in the same room with those people when it's just a hearing. The trial will be excruciating as we go through everything with a fine-toothed comb. I was amazed at how affected I was by Dr. Gaufin's testimony at the preliminary. I'm sure it will be just as difficult, if not more so, to hear them try and defame my husband and somehow try to get out of their accountability. So that is why we need strength in numbers.

Once again, we appreciate all of you. Your prayers, kind thoughts, best wishes, sacrifices of time and finances, on our behalf. It has almost made this bearable. If you have any questions about the trial, just leave a comment, or email me, or message me on Facebook, and I'll get to them as quickly as I can. We love y'all!

Blessing of the Week: support

Friday, January 13, 2012


I know I've been slacking in the posting department. There have been a lot of down days at our house. Because I LIVE this life everyday, sometimes it's just too much to sit down and write about it and relive it. But the therapist and I decided that it's probably helpful for me to get the emotions out. Because the don't come out, otherwise.

I hate to be "Wo is me" all the time. That's just not me. But most weeks we live in pretty dismal spirits. It seems to be a lot of our life lately. We've got all of us trying to adjust to our circumstances and trying to figure out and understand where to go from here. We want our lives back.

The trial is approaching and it's really taking it's toll on our states of mind. Mark especially. He's has such anxiety and worry that he doesn't sleep and the body tremors start. Lack of sleep adds to the depression. You can't even imagine what Mark and I go through every day. And I don't share my thoughts and feelings with him because it will make his burden worse. I'm shouldering everything for this family. His worries, pain and fear. The girls' worries, pain and fear. My own worry, pain and fear. That's a lot for my weak, tired shoulders to bare. But I hurt and worry the most about Mark. There have been some days in the last couple of weeks that I wondered if he'd make it through the day. I'm out of answers. I'm out of positive encouragements. I'm out of energy. I'm out of care. It truly is too much to bare. And adding in 65 hour work weeks isn't helping. So when I knew I couldn't handle anymore yesterday, I left work early and met with the therapist. I was able to cry all the way from work to BYU, so I actually seemed pretty put together by the time I got there. But it didn't take long for the waterworks to start up again. After talking about MANY things, he asked me at the end that if there was ANYTHING I could ask for myself, what would it be?

I told him I wanted my husband to be made whole.

Blessing of the Week: a shoulder to cry on

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year, New Life

We aren't a very exciting bunch when it comes to celebrating New Year's. We're just old, tired and have to go to church the next day. But as Mark and I lay in the bed last night, I went through our day of exactly one year ago.

Remember this?

Sometimes it seems as if it were an eternity ago....and sometimes it seems as if it were yesterday. What a miraculous day that was. My husband walked out of the hospital from something he wasn't expected to survive. As we held each other and talked about the crazy road we've been down these last 12 months, we cried. It's very difficult to always see the miracles in your life. Sometimes you have to own the misery and loss. We still mourn our losses and look forward to what this new year MAY, hopefully, bring to our little family. We can only pray and plead to our Father in Heaven that He will be generous in pouring out His blessings.

Blessing of the Week: new beginnings