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Friday, September 30, 2011

Life Happens

Okay....between the pretrial preliminary, bouts of depression, this,



and this,

it's been a crazy couple of weeks. That being said, here goes.

The trial has been pushed out to February. Ridiculous...I know. Stupid...I know. Insensitive...I know. But there's nothing we can do. At least there's going to be a trial.

Periodically Mark will have a severe bout of depression. It's not a little moping around, sleeping a lot kind of depression. It's full blown. Crying, worry, fear, confusion, torment, despair. And it breaks my heart every time it happens. Mostly because I have nothing to offer him but my love and support. I struggle to help him work through his feelings and emotions. Mark is a thinker and when his mind isn't busy working on other things, it takes a turn for the worse. Mark wants to plan our future. Mark wants answers that I can't give him. He doesn't want to accept the Lord's timeline. He thinks he's been patient enough. Mark always comes out of these depressions pretty quickly. They just seem to be happening a little more often.

When I haven't been working, doing laundry, taking care of kids, taking care of Mark, or anything else for that matter, I've been very busy making cakes. A wedding cake for a special family that took VERY good care of me during Mark's hospital stay...and still going strong. Thank you so much for your kindness, service and love. I'm honored to give this gift back to you.

The Luigi cake was for Avery's birthday. And the cookies on a stick were her classroom treats. Anything Mario Bros will win her over. Her favorite is Luigi, but she's kind of sweet on Sonic the Hedgehog, too. But while I was baking the cake on Sunday, Auntie Paige decided to take the girls to the park in Pleasant Grove that has a fork (no Avery, they don't have a spoon), a fort. Avery was going down the monkey bars and couldn't finish them, so she dropped. When she hit the ground, she wobbled a little bit and caught herself with her hands flat on the ground. She wasn't overly concerned with pain, but as the minutes passed, she decided it hurt a little more than she was letting on. Paige rounded everyone up and headed home. Avery came in and was crying and holding her arm. But once we got the ice on it for a bit, got a little ibuprofen in her, she was ready to play again with her cousin Parker. I looked at it a little further and it was pretty swollen, but I thought we'd see how it looked in the morning. When I checked it before I went to work the next day, she kept telling me it didn't hurt and she was okay. But it was still swollen and I watched her going about her morning ritual and not using it. So when I got to work I made her an appointment to see the doc and took her in at 4:00. Sure enough...both bones were broken. Fortunately, nothing had shifted so it didn't need to be set. She got the splint on Monday and the cast on Thursday after the swelling had gone down a little. She was a champion the entire time. She would get a little teary-eyed but never really cried too much about it. She is one tough cookie!

Now, we're trying to settle down from a whirlwind couple of weeks to watch the LDS General Conference this weekend. It's such a great thing to renew your spirit with counsel from the Lord's elect. I am so thankful for my testimony of Jesus Christ and His plan for me. I don't think I would have ever survived these dark months and days without His loving, encircling arms around me.

Blessing of the Week: testimony

Friday, September 16, 2011

Baby Steps

We've had a milestone in the Davis Family this past week.

Mark was going crazy with nothing to do to occupy his time and energy. So when his brother Alan called and asked if he wanted to go on a trip to Texas and back, Mark jumped at the opportunity. Alan is a truck driver.

Mark's been invited in the past, but it just hasn't worked out with his therapies and such. And of course, we've been a little skeptical about being separated since the seizure. Okay...more than a little skeptical. More like A LOT freaked out about it. But after much contemplation, worry and what-if scenario's, we decided it would be okay for him to go. There was a checking and re-checking of his bag to make sure he got all of his meds. There was a checking to make sure he got his phone charger. There was a checking to make sure I had some Valium on hand in case I had a nervous break down. Okay...not really. But I did consider it. I was actually still at work when he left, so we had to do our goodbye over the phone. I felt like I was giving away my first born. It was difficult, to say the least.

He left at about 5 p.m. I knew I was going to worry about him being able to get enough sleep. He doesn't have the best sleeping habits when he's home in his own bed, much less in the sleeper of a semi rolling down the highway. Since sleep deprivation is a huge seizure trigger, this was my biggest concern. At 9:00 he called and said he was tired and going to bed. So instead of laying awake all night worrying about whether or not he was sleeping, I took something to knock me out, slept hard, and paced the next morning until I got the call that he was okay and slept great. Whew!

After that, I was pretty much okay. I did think about him ALL day for the next couple of days, but that's not really any different than any other day. The girls kept asking when Daddy was going to be home. Madison asked me if he took his seizure medicine with him. They love him so much. It was really good to see him last night when I finally got home from work. He was crashed in the bed, but I went in and hugged and kissed him anyway.

This morning when we got up, Mark was kind of emotional. He was reflecting on his blessings and how truly lucky he is to have a wonderful family. He missed us greatly and said he doesn't ever want to be gone that long again. I'm sure he'll change his mind in the next few weeks...especially the next time he's really bored or the girls are really noisy. But it's nice to see that he appreciates the love he has in his life. And it's nice to know that we can handle these "firsts". Baby steps....

Blessing of the Week: peanut patties

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Thank You For Playing...Please Try Again

Well....we didn't get the little house. Mark was pretty disappointed. But I just told him that Heavenly Father must have something better planned for us. It was pretty small, anyway. Don't really know how we would have made it work. But you know that old saying, "Necessity is the mother of invention." Our time will come. Just wish we knew when.

We've been going over our bleak financial situation. It's kind of discouraging, considering where we were 5 years ago. Between the economy and this injury, we've really taken quite the hit. But you know what? I really don't care. It really bothers Mark a lot more than it bothers me. I understand why....he's the provider and he can't provide. But I try to look at this mess as a simpler way to live. When you don't have anything, it makes your finances really simple.

The house phone rang this morning at 7:30 and my mom was at Lee's getting Parker ready for school. I answered it because it was a Texas area code. This lady starts talking to me like I'm my mom. I figured out who she was just by the way she was talking to me. When I told her it was me, she laughed and said I sound just like my mom. She was my mom's best childhood friend. She had called to say that she was reading an article in the paper about the best fried chicken, and she thought of a time when she went to my grandma's house with my mom and my grandma had killed a chicken and was frying it up. She said it was the BEST fried chicken she'd ever eaten. And she wanted to share that thought with my mom. After she related that, she asked me how Mark was doing. I gave her the usual, "He's doing pretty good. Wishes he could go to work. Still struggles with his words and lack of energy." Then she told me that she's on the prayer council at her local church and that Mark's name has been on the prayer list ever since she found out about it. She said, "There are a lot of people in Saledo, Texas, praying for your precious husband." I truly get overwhelmed when people tell me these things. I'm always amazed at people's thoughtfulness and generosity. Perfect strangers that reach out and offer what they can to help bless our lives. I'm sure that's why Mark is doing as well as he is. There have been SO many prayers offered on his behalf. If there's one thing in this life that I have a profound testimony's the power of prayer.

Blessing of the Week: humble offerings

Friday, September 2, 2011

Diamonds May Be Precious...But Daughter's are Priceless

We now have all 3 girls in school. Avery thinks it's the best thing since Luigi. (notice her Mario Kart backpack...a boy in her class was awed by it)

It doesn't get any yummier than this. The best thing in this world is that my girls love each other. You can't ask for more than that as a parent.

We've just been busy living life this last week or so. We've been looking for a house to rent and may have found one. They had a lot of interest, so they're going to pick an applicant sometime next week. We're crossing our fingers it's us. I'm still not so sure it's time. I want to be on our own, but wonder if he can live up to his side of things. For instance, can he get the girls going everyday, get them to school on time, manage some of the household duties, get himself to his therapies, and be alone. Some mornings he bounces out of bed and does great. Then there are mornings like today where he tells me he needs more time to sleep. So I get them started and grandma finishes so that I can get to work. He also struggles with time management. Most of the time he doesn't even know what time it is. The girls would walk to grandma's house after school, but he really struggles with schedules. And since he can't drive until October 10th, we'd need some extra help until then. I just don't know. Definitely needs to be a matter of prayer.

Spoke to the Crime Victim's Advocate yesterday and she informed there is a pretrial preliminary hearing on September 21st. This hearing is standard in that things can sometimes change that may affect whether or not the trial happens on the days they have scheduled. While I've informed everyone that the trial is on October 3rd, 4th and 6th, that may change. Won't know until the 21st. So all who are interested, keep that in mind.

On the day that we went to look at the rental home, Mark said that he hadn't had anything to eat all day. He'd been laying in the bedroom watching T.V. and hadn't really thought about food. He noticed his hunger when he got up and moving around. I was trying to talk to him about houses to rent and he just stared at me and told me he didn't understand a thing I was saying. I would ask him simple questions, like what he'd been doing that day and where did he want to eat. He would just look at me, shake his head and say he didn't understand. I stopped talking to him as we went and got him a hamburger. He only had time to eat about half of it before we met with the landlord. But with only those few calories in his bloodstream, he did a complete 180. He was able to carry on a conversation and understand what was going on. I've now started sending him texts during the day to remind him to eat. Can you imagine....having to be reminded to eat? It's no wonder he only weighs 180 pounds fully clothed. Interestingly though, every night he eats a pint of ice cream and several Creamies. But still no weight gain. The human brain uses 1/3 of all the calories you consume. I guess it's really working overtime to heal and make new neuropathways to replace those that were severed, and burning through any and all calories he consumes.

Blessing of the Week: independence