I'm really starting to get bad at this everyday thing. Thought getting my computer up and running would make the difference. Guess I'm still just as busy.
Friday was pretty uneventful, except that I got a little break and had lunch with a friend. Was nice to get out and laugh for a minute. Mark paced the floor and the street outside the whole time I was gone. When I say he's going stir crazy....I MEAN he's going stir crazy. He wanted to go to the Sprint store, alone, while I was gone. It took some convincing, but I finally got him to accept that he can't jump out there on the road his first time without another set of eyes. Whew!!
So today we spent most of the day out running errands. They were all my errands, but he was happy to come along and not be stuck at home. I decided that we'd give him a try at driving. Probably not the best day, as it was raining, but there weren't as many people out due to the weather, so maybe it was the perfect day. He did rather well. He didn't drive much. It really wore him out. He said it felt awesome to be driving his truck again. He was beaming. Baby steps.
I can't decide if the little outings I get alone are good for me. I am in MUCH need of a break, but they give me a taste of what my old life used to be like and I just want them more and more. I love my family more than anything in this world. But I am not one of those women who gives up EVERYTHING to be a wife and mother. I have my own hobbies, I have my own desires, I need time to myself. And so lately I have been feeling a little starved. Starved for Scarlet time. Suffocating from taking care of everyone else. LITERALLY never getting even five minutes to myself. Even as I type Mark is asking me when I'm coming to bed. Even when I was at lunch with my dear friend, I was thinking of what he must be going through with me not there. I can't even ENJOY the fleeting opportunity for a break. I guess I'm just saying that I miss what used to be and I hope those days return.
Blessing of the Day: independence
It is very hard to be the care taker, the provider, mother, and wife. After Tony had his stroke and my world tipped upside down. It was very hard. With his stroke he lost some of his short term memory. So I had to keep calling him from work to see how he was doing and if he had done the things he needed to do. It was and still is very frustrating. I also crave alone time.
ReplyDeleteI think we all need the weekend planned in March, and as hard as it may be to get away, it may be the best thing to do....?
ReplyDeleteI think most moms/wives wish for alone time, however, you deserve it so much more than the rest of us. You are your everything to your family and that has got to be exhausting! We love you and pray for you daily! Keep the faith and know that we are here to help if needed--- you just need to let us know what we can do.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Blessing of the day: the gospel