I'm just spent. This was a long emotional day. My poor sweet husband. This is doing him in.
We considered a couple of options today, neither of which were right for us. We have our bishopric working on finding something to rent in our ward. We're going to start packing tomorrow. At this point, I'll be packing as if it's all going into storage until we can find somewhere permanent to go. In the mean time, we'll probably be staying with my mom.
I can't even begin to describe how I feel. I'm not questioning "Why me?", I'm just so overwhelmed, tired, emotional and spent. I can honestly say I can't handle anything else. I fear I'm going to have a mental breakdown and be no good to anyone, especially my family. I want to crawl into a hole. I know it's just a "house", but that's not what I'm upset about. It's that we have fought, worked and struggled for 18 years to get where we are and it's all gone. We are starting over at age 40 and it scares me. And I just endured the most emotional frightening thing in my life and now I'm dealing with this. I know we're not the first people to have these kinds of trials, but I'm just so done. But I can't afford to crawl into a hole....so to Walmart I go in the morning to pick up boxes. I'll still get my kids to school, still go to therapy, and get started packing. Why? Because I don't have a choice. The world still keeps moving even though I want and need to take a break from it. So I'll put a brave face on for my babies and my sweet husband and try to keep going.
Scarlet, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment. And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands. D&C 121:7-9
ReplyDeleteOur love, service and prayers are yours.
Love,
Barb
Hi, you dont know me and I dont know you, but I do know Paige Allen Viehweg. I went to school in Mt Pleasant with her and her brother, and had class from Mr Allen.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family, for strength physically and mentally as well as spiritually. I havent had a chance to read your whole blog yet, so this may be a weird question, but have you, YOURSELF gotten a blessing from the Bishopric? I hope so, as I know they help me so much. I sought them out even when I was not LDS, because of my faith in the power of prayer.
As Mother Teresa said, "I know God wont give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much". I know I have times when I feel like that, and I know I am not going through anything as much as you are right now. But God is there for you, and He always will.. As my husband has to point out, things will work out. Read the poem "Footprints"... I know it helps me.
Good luck, and my prayers are with you.
-Amber (Martin) Nolan
Oh, Scarlett,
ReplyDeleteWhat a hard, hard trial you all have been called upon to go through. You are in our prayers daily. I can't imagine having to go through the things you have. I hope you can feel the love and support of our Heavenly Father. We will continue to think about you and pray for you. Please do not hesitate to call if you need anything.
Sarianna and Kam
My heart is breaking for you guys Scarlet! I am sure it is so hard to see the light. Who am I to tell you that everything is going to be just fine but I really think that it will be. I am so sorry to hear about your home. Gosh, it is hard to know what to say. We are constantly thinking about you guys. We love you guys! Hang in there! Big Hugs!
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