I filed the SS paperwork for disability two weeks ago. I just received more paperwork that I need to fill out to further explain how Mark's injury has affected him. I thought, "Doesn't 'Severe Traumatic Brain Injury' say everything?" But as I sat down and started to answer the questions and explain, in detail, how his life has changed, I was overcome with grief...again. It's almost like I relived it all over again. I guess it's still part of the grieving process. Grief for what we've lost. Not just Mark...all of us. I think it even solidified MORE in my brain that Mark will most likely never run his own business again. And that will be a very hard pill for him to swallow. I, for one, am happy to see MD Electric go away. But I wonder if it's only because we were running our own business in the most difficult of financial times. It was stressful and maddening to watch what we'd worked so hard to build over the last 7 years just dwindle and disappear. It's probably too early yet to say that he'll NEVER run his own business, but I have a hard time seeing it in our future.
And so I start looking for work. We can't live on social security disability and we can't live here forever. I'm in no real hurry to move out, but know that it won't ever happen if I don't step up to the plate and MAKE it happen. I was given a promise in a Priesthood blessing that my education would be used to bless my family and those around me. So I guess it's time to put it to good use.
Blessing of the Day: education
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