Just a quick post today. Everything was good today. Mark had 2 bouts of physical therapy that worked him over pretty good. Upon his return, we (me, the girls and my mom) were waiting in the rec room. He wheeled over to say hello. He saw Madison first, smiled at her, and pulled her into him for a hug. He then pulled in Olivia, then Avery. He didn't really say anything to them...just hugs. It was an answer to my prayers.
Physical therapy was good. Speech therapy was pretty good. He drank from a straw, ate a bite of pudding, and chewed on a cracker. He's ready for pureed food. Needs to get his chewing down before they'll remove the feeding tube. He also needs to be consuming enough calories with just food. I want so badly for him to make this improvement.
Mark had a good vocal day. Lots of dialogue with complete sentences. Had a great moment with the girls and an even better moment with me. It's too tender to share here. I got just a minute or so with my husband as I remember him. It was food for my soul. I need to use it to curb the anger I feel that my children are being robbed of their daddy, especially at this time of year. Christmas morning is his favorite and it just won't be the same. My girls need their daddy back. I hate having to answer questions like, "Is Daddy always going to talk like that?" or "Is Daddy going to come home in a wheelchair?" No parent should have to answer these questions to their precious tender daughters. I'm tough and gritty and can put up with a lot. But it breaks my heart to have to prepare my girls for what is to come and what changes may be permanent. It just shouldn't be like this. Not for us. We've been robbed....we've been cheated....we've been devastated. And I'm angry.
Good Scarlet, that's a good girl. You are allowed to be angry! You HAVE been robbed. You and the girls HAVE been cheated and devestated by this gross miscarriage of justice, this tragedy. You CAN have these feelings while still maintining your faith. It does not have to be one or the other. A person can learn to forgive while still allowing others the full consequence of their egregious behaviours. Mercy cannot rob justice! Your ARE tough and gritty; beautiful and loyal; prayerful and hopeful; spiritual and forgiving; strong beyond measure. I am like you Scarlet, granite in how I allow others to affect me. But when it come to children, the innocent nature of their feelings, how they haven't had a choice it this at all? I'm with you, I have no patience for that type of behavior and will do anything y'all need to help right this situation. A to Z you can count on me. (kinda cheesey, i know)
ReplyDeleteScarlet, you are already a stronger woman, wife and mother in light of this situation. Your daughters will be too, because inside them is you!