Therapy, therapy, therapy. Mark's day is filled with therapy. Speech, occupational, physical. Then they do it all over again. By the time they do the afternoon sessions, he's wiped out. He doesn't really sleep, but you can tell that he's mentally finished.
He ate at 2:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. But has had nothing else. That's hardly the 2400 calories they want him to have. The speech therapist said that our brains use 1/3 of the calories we take in, and 1/2 of the oxygen. So he NEEDS TO EAT!!! Very frustrating for me to try to get him to eat. He's a man that knows what he wants (or doesn't want) and has no problem telling you. I can get him to drink pretty good, but it's just not enough. But I think today he was bugged by his aid. She was starting to get on MY nerves and I don't have a brain injury.
For a while he was fixated on leaving. He rolled his wheelchair over to the elevator and wanted us to punch in the code. He went over to the stairwell and wanted us to swipe the pad to open the door. He's installed these kinds of door locks and knows how they work. He was really frustrated that we wouldn't give him the code. He goes down the elevator to do physical therapy, so he knows how it works. It was really hard to leave because he went with us to the elevator and we slipped out the stairwell. He did, however, kiss the girls and told them he loves them. It melted my heart, again.
We had more quality time together today. I was staring into his eyes and he said, "What?" I told him I loved him, then started to cry. He pulled me onto the bed with him, wrapped his arm around me, stroked my back and said, "Tell me what's eating at you." I cried and cried and cried. He just held me and rubbed my back. I asked him if he loved me and he said, "Yes." I asked if he loved me the mostest (that's our family word) and he said, "Of course." I told him I missed him and needed him to come back to me. I believe I actually had my husband back for a full 5 minutes. We just layed there together as if there was nothing wrong with our world. I truly believe it was a tender mercy from Heaven. Even now as I type this I can't control the tears. All I want is my husband back.
I will cry with you Scarlet, not much help i'm sure, but I can't seem to stop the tears either. I firmly believe Mark is coming back to you, that he will fully recover and your family will be made whole again. This is a righteous desire and I know according to the Lords will it can be done. I think of you each day, of how determined each of you are, how your sense of humors help (us all) in coping with the pain and stress you face each day. We will thank the Lord for the many tender mercies and radiant glimmers of hope you experience that help to carry you through. I'm so grateful that faith is a renewable resource, y'all keep working, we'll keep praying.
ReplyDeleteOh Scarlet, that was beautiful. I'm so glad for that tender mercy-even if it may have seemed too brief. I don't doubt he's coming back. Little by little.
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