Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Good day today. With no therapies on the schedule for today or tomorrow, we made and are going to make, many loops around the 2nd floor of rehab.

I did Christmas at home with the girls and Grandma, and then went to the hospital. He had a headache, so the girls couldn't stay long. Nothing like a 10 minute family Christmas. It's just too much for him sometimes. He opened a couple of gifts, but that was it. I'll save the others for his birthday on Wednesday. He did tell me that today was Saturday, without me prompting him. I was pleased.

Visitors were minimal today, which was good. Mark and I had some good conversations and alone time together. One particular conversation was THE conversation....Why am I here?

He didn't pose the question directly. He was concerned about his eye and I asked him if he knew what happened. He said no and I asked him if he wanted to know. He said yes. So I told him. It was difficult, to say the least, for me to get through it. I'm not sure exactly how he was handling it because he hasn't shown any emotion thus far in his recovery. He is sweet and concerned about my needs and feelings, but no anger, crying or even laughter. I showed him the pictures from ICU and he couldn't believe it was him. He said he doesn't remember any of it. He said it doesn't make sense. And he's right. Later when 2 other people came to visit, he asked if they knew what happened. I'm hoping he'll remember at least some of this conversation tomorrow. And I'm hoping it won't be as difficult for me to get through it as it was today. I know it's hard for him to see me cry.

He was listening to one of my conversations with another visitor, but we didn't know he was paying THAT much attention. He was quiet the entire time and then commented on the things we were discussing. I was amazed! It's good to see that he was REALLY with me today. I hope it's that way from now on.

It's getting more and more difficult to leave him. He told me about me leaving last night and how hard that was for him. He said our family is the most important thing and he wants to be with us more than anything. He said it's despairing when I leave him even for lunch. This breaks my heart. Tonight I laid in the bed with him until he fell asleep. I hate having to "trick" him, but it's very difficult for me to stay the night. I will try and get there very early tomorrow.

Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes and your efforts to make this a Merry Christmas. It was, to some extent. But thank you, most of all, for your many prayers on our behalf. I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it: THEY'RE WORKING! Please keep them coming.