Our Family Is Forever

Do you ever get to the point where you just want to run away? Run away from everything and everyone? I suppose that's the feeling that drives people to drink or do drugs. The escape. Don't worry....I'm not ready to plunge into either of those things. I just wish sometimes I could run away. Not because I don't love or care about my family, but because I just can't take it one...more...minute. Sometimes it all just becomes too much. Too much stress. Too much worry. Too much hurt. Too much work. Too much...too much...too much.

I got on the Brain Injury Association website this weekend. They have posted some interesting statistics.

•Every 23 seconds, one person in the U.S. sustains a brain injury
•Over the past 12 years, mortality from brain injury has exceeded the cumulative number of American battle deaths inclusive of all wars since the founding of the Republic.
•Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is a silent yet serious epidemic currently leaving 5.3 million Americans with disabilities. This represents over- 2% of the US population; 40,000 victims in Utah alone!
•50% of brain injuries are caused by vehicle crashes, 26% by falls.
•In September 2000 alone, 8600 children under the age of 15 suffered a brain injury from scooter accidents... almost 300 children per day!
•Every 7 minutes, someone dies of a brain injury
•One death every day and one brain injury every four minutes can be prevented by the use of helmets in recreational activities, including skiing and biking.
•80 % of brain injury victims end up in a divorce
•75% of persons with TBI who return to work will lose their job within 90 days if they do not have supports.
•The estimated lifetime cost for each survivor of a severe brain injury exceeds $4 million.
•According to a study conducted by The National Foundation for the Brain, the cost of brain injury in the United States was $48.3 billion in 1992. Hospitalization accounts for $31.7 billion, and fatal brain injuries cost the nation $16.6 billion each year. We estimate that this figure may be substantially higher today.

These are fascinating statistics. But the one that really caught my attention was "80% of brain injury victims end up in a divorce". What I'd like to know is of that 80%, how many were initiated by the victim and how many by the caregiver. The reason I wonder is that Mark has said to me several times that he should have just died and that the girls and I would be better off with someone else. I know that it's the Adversary talking, the depression talking, the desire to be "done" with all of the stress, worry, hurt, work. But I take those ramblings for what they are...ramblings. They are not his true feelings for us. And no matter how much stress, worry, hurt or work it takes....it's US against the world. And we will continue to fight the battle...together...for as long as it takes.

I read to Mark a wonderful talk by Pres. Thomas S. Monson titled "Finding Joy In The Journey". He's having a hard time accepting that this recovery not only to his brain, but our lives, is going to take a long time. He's slowly realizing that he can't just sit around and be unhappy. This talk helped him. I've posted the link.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/finding-joy-in-the-journey?lang=eng&query=Joy+Journey