Pay It Forward

I had a successful first week of work. Well, first 3 days, anyway. And Mark did quite well in my absence. He kept himself busy working in the yard, and wore himself completely out. He is overly emotional as he feels that he's letting his family down. I know he'll eventually get back to work, it's just not happening on his timetable. And that's extremely difficult for him.

I must admit that it feels a little weird to be at work. I feel so disjointed and disconnected to everything that is my life. You would think it would be very natural for me to go back to doing something I did for so long, but my life is drastically different since I last worked outside the home. I enjoy my work, don't get me wrong...and I'm so very grateful that I found a good job so quickly. It's just weird and a little emotional for me. I guess I'm feeling as if another period in my life is over that I worked so hard to earn. There seems to be a lot of that going on in my life as of late.

Today's lesson in Relief Society was on Charity. I've been having a particularly emotional week and church was no different. As the lesson started, I pondered on all the charity I've received in the last 5 months. The word charity tends to have a negative connotation to it. But that negativity comes from the prideful that are too stubborn to accept an angel from the Lord. As I sat there thinking of my particular situation, I became overwhelmed with grattitude for all those who have come to our literal rescue. I was overcome with emotion as I recognized that my Father in Heaven is over all, and must rely on each of us to take care of His children. I have never been in true need as I have been recently. I was taught in my youth how to work hard and be independent and self reliant. I have never asked for help from anyone, for anything. And when my life fell apart on December 1, 2010, one of my dearest friends told me that I needed to say "yes" to all those that offered help. She knew it would hard for me and that I couldn't handle all of this on my own. I am so grateful for her candor.

And I will be forever in the debt of those who served my little family. To all those who watched my girls, brought in meals, visited me at the hospital, fasted and/or prayed for us, donated money, donated time and energy to help us move, offered well wishes, put our names on the rolls of the temple, etc., etc...Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I feel like it's a little trite in that it's all I have to offer you...but thank you, thank you, thank you. I suppose my payment for the many blessings I have received will be to pay it forward.

Blessing of the Day: ministering angels