Mark had his Vocational Rehab orientation last week. He was concerned that it was going to be a waste of his time. The orientation video was a little cheesy, but ultimately the program should be a blessing to him.
He was looking around at the people in the room before it started, and was wondering if it was like the Dept. of Workforce Services, where people go when they need help to find a job. After the video he realized it was for people who had a disability and needed more than just a little help. He looked at me and said, "This place is for people with disabilities. Scarlet, I don't have a disability." I told him he DOES have a disability because he was assaulted and suffered some major brain damage. He was quiet for a minute and then said, "Am I mentally retarded?" My heart broke into a million tiny little pieces.
We don't actually get to see a vocational counselor until July. They will do an assessment of Mark's abilities, combine it with the testing he's done with this new doctor, and then determine what is available to Mark in terms of being able to work. He's excited at the prospect of being able to do something other than be an electrician, but nervous about what it will take for him to learn a new skill and whether or not he'll enjoy whatever new line of work is presented to him. He's even thinking that he might want to go to school. College school. I know he's far from being able to handle something like that, but if he eventually wants to get a degree, I'm all for it and will help him achieve that worthy goal. I worry so much about him trying something, failing, and becoming so discouraged he doesn't want to try anymore.
When Mark was in the ICU he had difficulty moving the left side of his body. The epidural bleed he had on the right side of his head was massive and put quite a bit of pressure on his brain. He's able to use his left side just fine, his left leg just gets stiff and uncooperative sometimes. He told me yesterday that sometimes he feels upset that it doesn't work like it used to. But then he said that when he starts to think like that he remembers that he almost died, that the doctors didn't know if he would even be able to walk at all, and then becomes grateful that he's alive, able to walk and talk, and able to spend the rest of his life with his beautiful family. For someone who has endured much physical trauma including the loss of an eye, and lost everything temporal except the shirt on his back, he is surprisingly upbeat. More so than I ever would be or am. He is a great example to me of courage, strength and faith. I love this man so much.
Blessing of the Day: counting your blessings
I look forward to your posts because of the great faith and hardwork you both have. I am grateful Mark is so upbeat, most would not be. Things will improve and you both have the best attitude and patience to take it one step at a time. We think about you all the time and love you so much.
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